Epilogue: The Adventure of the Tetnus Shot.

But so during a lull in the food poisoning storm, I decided it was time to figure out how to get a tetnus shot. It had been almost 24 hours since I had actually stepped on the nail, so I was getting nervous about how much time was going by and if it was getting infected.
I'm not sure how many people in the history of the world have had both tetnus shots and food poisoning simultaneously, but I'm not it's not too many--especially after I found out where they inject the vaccine.

I figured I'd start with the pharmacy. Armed with my pocket dictionary and the Arabic for "Tetnus vaccine" (Tataeema tetnus), I figured I could make some progress. I went to the Pharmacy.
"Excuse me, I need a tetnus shot. I stepped on a nail yesterday." (my real blundering attempts at Arabic actually went more like, "Yesterday I walked in the street. There was a nail. And then, my foot. inside.")

The man at the counter turned to ask the on-duty Pharmacist. "Do we have the Tetnus vaccine?"
"Sure we do."
What? It's this easy? I was elated.
She brings a small glass tube labeled "tetnus vaccine" and puts it on the counter.
"That will be 70 cents."
The man wrapped it up in a bag for me.
"Wow, 70 cents, seriously? That's great. But, uh, there's a problem. I need the vaccine..." I pointed to my arm. "Inside. How?"

The man at the display counter looked at me and proceeded to give me a very lengthy and detailed answer--of which I understood not one word.
I looked blankly at him.
"I don't understand."

The on-duty pharmacist went next. She gave me an even longer explanation, with elaborate gestures...pinching the skin on the back of her hand, pointing to her arm...saying the words "ten minutes" a few times.... then she finished. she looked at me expectantly.

I fought back tears. I turned back to the man at the counter. With rare candor, I confessed to him, "I don't understand anything. I want a doctor. Where do I go?"
"To the hospital."
"What hospital? where?"
"Any hospital."

My shoulders slumped. I felt defeated.

There's a private hospital across the street from our apartment. I was sure this was going to involve hassles and complications and questions about insurance...but I wasn't about to give myself the vaccine. I didn't even have a needle if I wanted to, and I most certainly didn't want to.

I walked to the first entrance I saw, which seemed to be the patient waiting area for the emergency room. A security man stopped me at the door and asked me what I wanted.
I shoved my vaccine baggie toward him.

"I have a Tetnus vaccine in my bag. I don't know what to do. I want a doctor. Where do I go?"
He proceeded to explain, among other things, that I couldn't come into this part of the hospital, but that I needed to go somewhere else...using words I didn't understand...
He stopped when he saw that I wasn't tracking with him.
He brought me inside and I explained my case to two other security guards. We weren't getting very far.

Finally, the first security guard asked me where I was from. "I'm American," I replied.
"Good," he said. "I love America. Come with me."
He took me back into the hospital, to a nurses' break room. Four or five nurses were in there, eating chips and talking. He asked one of them if she could help. She smiled at me and took me to an empty room, with just an examining table and a small counter.

She explained that she needed to test first to see if I would have a bad reaction. Ok. Got it. She gave me a small injection on my arm, then drew circles around the red splotchy area. She came back 5 minutes later--yup, all good.

She then made handmotions around her waist. Um...do you need me to lower my pants? I gulped.
Yup--she stuck the needle right in my bum, then declared me good to go.

From leaving my apartment to getting the shot, this whole episode took maybe 20 minutes, max. If it wasn't for that security guard taking me to the nurse, I'm not sure what would have happened.

Before she opened the door of the exam room, I asked her who I should pay.
"No one? Me?" She responded. "The doctor doesn't know you're here."
I handed her 20 pounds ($4) and thanked her profusely.

And with that, my tetnus shot was complete.

Before I left, the security guard wanted to know if I could help him get a visa to the U.S. and if there was work for him there. I told him what I know about the visa application process (not much, admittedly), assured him that I would not be a useful connection to him at all, told him that I myself had worked in a security office so I was sure there could be work for him there, and wished him all of God's help in his quest.

So. That is the saga of my tetnus shot.